


Tell Me You Love Me

by juice817



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 17:20:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1518878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juice817/pseuds/juice817
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared has loved his brother Jeff's best friend Jensen for as long as he can remember, but when Jensen turns him down on his 23rd birthday, Jared flees to Corfu in an attempt to get laid and get on with his life - as far away from Jensen as he can get. But Jensen seems to have other ideas...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Me You Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> _Originally posted August 2009_.

**Title:** Tell Me You Love Me  
 **Author:**[](http://juice817.livejournal.com/profile)[ **juice817**](http://juice817.livejournal.com/)  
 **Rating:** NC-17  
 **Pairing:** Jared/Jensen  
 **Word Count:** Just shy of 9600.  
 **Warnings (if any):** Cheese and schmoop, I guess? Jensen's a little stalkery part of the time too.  
 **Prompt chosen:** _9\. Lie With Me_

_Corfu's exotic beaches are a matchless place to meet true love…or at least to have a fabulous fling! And that's exactly what Philly Angelis needs. After all, she's a survivor of unrequited love…and an embarrassingly rejected sexual proposition._

_Roman can't believe what he's doing. Philly is his best friend's little sister—definitely hands-off! So why is he following her to Corfu? And why is he taking her outrageously delicious sexual proposition seriously? Maybe because Philly's all woman now—a woman who knows exactly what she wants. And, God help him, Roman's going to give it to her…._

**Summary:** Jared has loved his brother Jeff's best friend Jensen for as long as he can remember, but when Jensen turns him down on his 23rd birthday, Jared flees to Corfu in an attempt to get laid and get on with his life - as far away from Jensen as he can get. But Jensen seems to have other ideas...

**A/N:** Written for [](http://spn-meanttobe.livejournal.com/profile)[**spn_meanttobe**](http://spn-meanttobe.livejournal.com/). Title from "Lie to Me" by Depeche Mode, because that song kept running through my head every time I looked at the title of my prompt. *g* Huge thanks, as always, to [](http://obsessed1.livejournal.com/profile)[**obsessed1**](http://obsessed1.livejournal.com/) and [](http://shinywhimsy.livejournal.com/profile)[**shinywhimsy**](http://shinywhimsy.livejournal.com/), without whom this would never have been finished. It would have been a lot more atrociously cheesy too. Any remaining mistakes or inconsistencies are mine alone. I was too excited to post it to wait for them to do a final read through.

 

 

Jensen sank further into his seat and stared out the window at the vast endless ocean beneath the plane and wondered for at least the thousandth time what the fuck he was doing, chasing after Jared. And for the thousandth time, he sighed, knowing he didn't really have a choice. It was his fault Jared had taken off, for fucking Greece of all places, and Jared was a smart guy, yeah, but he had a tendency to want to see the best in people, and people had a tendency to turn around and take advantage of that. Some people saw the glass half empty, some half full. Jared's glass was always overflowing, and Jensen? Well. Jensen wasn't sure there was even a glass at all.

He'd always felt sort of responsible for Jared's attitude, to be honest. He and Jared's brother Jeff had always stepped in to take care of Jared, to keep things simple and easy for him. To protect him. Jared had never really learned that you just can't trust everyone because Jeff and Jensen had made sure that Jared was happy and safe. And now it was Jensen's fault that Jared was unhappy, and Jensen was constitutionally incapable of not trying to _fix it_.

He shifted in his seat, trying to get comfortable. Jared was not going to be glad to see him, and Jensen wasn't really looking forward to it either. But Jeff would kick his ass if anything happened to Jared in Greece. If Jensen didn't do it himself first.

 

**~*~*~*~**

 

Jared dropped his towel on the beach and stood with his hands on his hips, letting his eyes wander over the men and women sunbathing and swimming. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Jensen would hate it. Jensen would complain about the sun bringing out more freckles (Jared loved his freckles) and about getting sand in his shoes (but he'd refuse to take them off) and about the heat of the sun and the cold of the water and -

"Stop it," he muttered under his breath with a scowl. He was here to _forget_ about Jensen, to move on with his life. He was here to find someone to fuck, someone who would want him back for the few days they were here and then, after he'd had awesome meaningless sex, he'd be able to stop obsessing about sex with Jensen because it would just be sex and he would know what it was really like and it would finally be no big deal.

He felt so incredibly _stupid_. He hadn't admitted it to himself in so many words, but he'd been saving himself for Jensen, so sure that Jensen felt the same way he did but was just waiting for him to be old enough. That particular justification didn't really hold once Jared hit eighteen but Jared had stubbornly clung to it, reasoning that Jensen had watched him grow up and so somehow that made it more difficult. And then Jared hit twenty, and then twenty-one and twenty-two and Jensen still didn't make a move, despite Jared giving him every opportunity to do so. He hadn't made a move himself, because he'd watched Jensen date over the years - first girls and then guys - and had heard him talking to Jeff and knew that Jensen didn't like to be chased. Jensen liked to make the first move.

Jared had thought he would be able to keep waiting as long as Jensen needed him to, but he hadn't counted on the combination of a few beers and a gorgeous Jensen and a birthday hug. A few friends and family had gathered for a barbeque for his twenty-third birthday, and of course Jensen had come. Jensen had been the last non-Padalecki there at the end of the night, and had pulled Jared close.

"Happy birthday, man," he'd said, and he'd smelled so good, felt so warm and strong and perfect in Jared's arms, and Jared just couldn't keep the words inside any more.

"Stay with me tonight," Jared had murmured, nuzzling Jensen's ear. "C'mon, it'll be so good, I want you so much, Jen."

Jensen had stiffened and pulled out of Jared's arms even as Jared tried to hold on. "No, Jared, I don't - I can't. You don't. You're just a little drunk, Jay, go sleep it off."

"I'm not drunk, Jensen," Jared had whispered. "A little buzzed, but that's - no. Please. I've tried to be patient, but I've been waiting so long and I don't understand why you're still waiting. You don't have to wait anymore, Jen, I know what I want and it's okay."

"I'm not... Waiting?" Jensen's head had moved back and forth slowly, like he had no idea what Jared was talking about. "What do you think I'm waiting for?"

Jared had shrugged. "I don't really know. That's what I said, I don't know why you're waiting. I want you and I'm not a kid anymore, you don't have to wait."

Jensen had stepped back again, holding up a hand to stop Jared from following. "I'm not waiting for whatever it is you think I'm waiting for, Jared. You're my best friend's kid brother. Hell, you might as well be _my_ kid brother. You don't want to sleep with me. I'm not going to sleep with you." Jensen had smiled then, a pained, awkward expression that Jared never wanted to see on his face again, and had patted him on the shoulder. "You're just horny, kid, am I right? It's been awhile since you got laid?"

"I've never - " Jared had whispered, voice breaking as he stopped to try to swallow the lump in his throat. Jensen _hadn't_ been waiting for him, hadn't ever actually wanted him the way he wanted Jensen. "I was waiting for you, Jensen."

Then, unable to stand there and face Jensen with his heart breaking on his fucking _birthday_ , Jared had backed away, then turned to run. Jensen hadn't called after him, hadn't tried to follow, and somehow that had been the final straw.

Jared flopped down on his towel, bracing his forearms on updrawn knees as he stared out at the incredible blue of the ocean. He'd been a little frantic to get away, had pulled up a travel site online and chosen the first destination that had made him think _Jensen would hate that_. He wasn't sure his parents bought his 'birthday trip' excuse and he hoped like hell Jensen hadn't told Jeff what happened, but none of that mattered right now. Not when he was thousands of miles away from everyone he knew and ready to get on with his life. He reached out to scoop up a handful of sand, let it trickle through his fingers, and tried not to wish Jensen were there.

 

**~*~*~*~**

 

Jensen stifled a yawn as he climbed out of the small plane that had brought him on the final leg from Athens to Corfu and thought to himself that if he never saw another plane it might be too soon. He grimaced, knowing he'd have to make the exact trip in reverse sooner or later.

But not before he fixed things with Jared.

He'd always been careful to not think of Jared _that way_ , because he hadn't been exaggerating when he'd told the kid he might as well be his kid brother. Jared had always _been there_ , for as long as Jensen could remember, had always tagged along with him and Jeff. It hadn't been a problem when they were all kids and Jared really was their snot-nosed shadow, not even when he and Jeff started going out with girls and Jared had asked awkward questions and scowled at the answers. It hadn't been a problem until Jared had been about sixteen or so and had shot up seemingly overnight and grown into his voice and Jensen had started to notice. One night Jensen had been jerking off, and the image in his mind had morphed from the blonde cheerleader he'd been dating at the time into Jared's lean, lanky form and hazel eyes. He'd come harder than he ever remembered doing before and hadn't been able to look Jeff in the eye the next morning. So he'd carefully locked those thoughts away and rationalized that he was just exploring his sexuality and started dating a few guys, and he never allowed himself to consider Jared as anything other than _Jeff's kid brother_.

Jensen had never imagined that Jared might want him like that. He'd known Jared was a little starry-eyed, sure - he wasn't stupid - but he'd chalked it up to misplaced hero worship and dismissed it. And then he'd hugged Jared goodnight on his birthday and it had blown up in his face.

Figuring that they _both_ needed a little time, Jensen had waited a few days before trying to call Jared. He hadn't been sure what he'd say, but he'd wanted to try to salvage their friendship, to make sure Jared was okay. He'd spent most of his life taking care of Jared in one way or another, and it was too firmly ingrained for him to be able to let it go this time, no matter how awkward it might be. It hadn't mattered - Jared hadn't answered, hadn't replied to the voice mails Jensen had left over the next few days. Growing increasingly worried but hoping Jared was just avoiding him, Jensen had finally caved and called Jeff.

"So," Jensen said, after a few minutes of random conversation, "Jared's not answering his phone. Did he lose it again?"

Jeff snorted out a laugh. "Nah, man, I assume it's at his apartment. He said he wasn't taking it with him because he didn't want to forget and have to pay roaming charges."

"With him? Did he go somewhere?"

"Yeah," Jeff said, surprise clear in his voice. Jensen could hear him sit up straighter too. "I sort of thought it was your idea, somehow. You didn't know?"

"No," Jensen said. "Where did he go?"

"Greece."

"Greece? _Seriously?_ "

"Seriously. It was kinda sudden, really." Jeff sighed. "He didn't say a word about wanting to take a trip for his birthday, and then suddenly that was all he could talk about. Getting away, taking a break, figuring out what he wanted from life. He's planning to spend a couple more weeks there, at least."

And Jensen had immediately known Jared had run away. He'd hurt Jared so much that Jared had felt the need to be on the other side of the world. "Why did you think it was my idea, Jeff?"

"Last thing Jared said when I dropped him at the airport was 'Jen was right.'"

Jensen had managed to get the name of the hotel Jared was staying at without letting Jeff hear the guilt that had immediately started clawing at his insides, or the irrational panic that Jared was going to end up hurt somehow, taken advantage of by some faceless Greek god who didn't understand Jared's love of gummi worms or his dream of getting a house with a yard big enough for a couple of dogs or his tendency to care about other people too much, to trust too easily.

His own trip was booked within an hour of hanging up with Jeff and he was on the first of too many planes the next day, and now he was finally in a cab on the way to the hotel. To Jared.

Even though he was too exhausted to even be able to think straight, Jensen still looked around the hotel lobby hopefully as he checked in. He knew he'd only fuck things up if he tried to talk to Jared now, but he wanted - _needed_ \- to see him again. Make sure he was okay, try to apologize. Try to replace the memory of the pain in Jared's eyes with something that wouldn't feel quite so much like a knife in his gut.

He didn't see Jared anywhere, though, and it was with a mix of disappointment and relief that Jensen followed the porter into his hotel room. He'd get a good night's rest, Jensen thought as he tipped the man and shut the door behind him, and then he'd track Jared down first thing in the morning.

It didn't take much tracking.

Jensen walked out of the hotel and down to the beach the next morning and there he was, only it was Jared as Jensen had _never_ seen him before.

Miles and miles and fucking _miles_ of golden brown skin stretched over lean muscle, sheen of sweat reflecting the sun as it beat down on the most gorgeous body Jensen had ever laid eyes on, and holy fucking _shit_. How had he missed the fact that Jared - _his_ Jared - had grown into _that_?

His hands actually twitched with the need to stroke over those abs and pecs, to ease his fingers under the waistband of his swim trunks, and he took two stumbling steps forward before his brain caught up with his body and he realized that he didn't have the right to drop to his knees next to Jared and touch, but god, he wanted to. He scrubbed a hand roughly over his face and sighed. He'd never be able to think of Jared as just Jeff's kid brother again.

 

**~*~*~*~**

 

Jared had actually sort of hoped to have had some sort of mind-blowing sex by now, but every time things started to go beyond easy flirting with someone, Jared froze and backed off. He'd come here to get over him, but Jared couldn't seem to stop himself from comparing everyone he met to Jensen and no one measured up. No one even came close, and Jared couldn't bring himself to settle for less. He was determined not to leave Greece a virgin, though, so he was going to have to suck it up and go for it at some point. His lips twitched in a wry grin at the thought of perhaps literally sucking it up, and then he sighed. He'd only ever wanted to suck Jensen. Dammit.

A shadow moved over his face, blocking out the sun, and Jared opened his eyes to see someone standing directly over him. The person, whoever it was, was haloed in sunlight, face shadowed. His head looked just like Jensen's head. Jared closed his eyes in self-disgust. He was so far gone he was _seeing things_ now. He needed to get laid _tonight_ , so he could just move the fuck on. "Hey, man," he murmured, trying not to sound cranky, because it wasn't this random person's fault that Jared was pathetic and pining and hallucinating. "You're blocking the rays."

"Greece, Jared? _Seriously_?"

Jared absolutely, positively did _not_ squeak as he scrambled to his feet. "Jensen?"

"Of course it's me. Who else would chase you to the other side of the world?" Jensen's eyes kept drifting down, and Jared thought Jensen was just avoiding eye contact until he noticed a slight flush in Jensen's cheeks. And then Jensen swallowed hard and his eyes flew up to meet Jared's. A faint expression of distaste crossed his face as his eyes focused and sharpened. "I have sand in my shoes, Jared."

"I thought you'd bitch about your freckles first," Jared muttered. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Look, Jensen, no one asked you to chase me down. My family knows where I am and there was no reason for you to follow me. I'm sorry you wasted a trip." Jared watched Jensen carefully, and there it was again - Jensen's eyes drifted slowly down, snapped back up to Jared's, and then he flushed. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong," Jensen snapped, "I just, I wanted to apologize. I handled that badly, at your party, I never wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry, I - Jesus, Jared." Jensen took a step closer and reached out like he couldn't help himself, fingertips hovering just shy of Jared's stomach. "Jesus. When did this happen?"

As much as he wanted to step into Jensen's hand, to finally _feel_ his touch, Jared steeled himself and stepped back. "When did what happen? What are you talking about?"

Jensen stepped forward again. " _This_ ," he said, one hand gesturing at Jared's body. "You, god. Jared - "

Jared took another step back and folded his arms over his chest. "I grew up," he said flatly. "That's what I've been trying to tell you, _show_ you, for years." He felt like someone was squeezing his heart. "You really didn't notice, did you? All I ever was to you was Jeff's kid brother. Fine. I get it now, okay? I won't hit on you again. You didn't need to come to Greece and rub it in."

"That's not why I -"

"Go home, Jensen. Or just go away, I don't care. But this is _my_ vacation, and you weren't invited." Jared bent and grabbed his beach towel in one fist and his bottle of suntan lotion in the other and turned away, heading back to the sanctuary of the hotel. Once again Jensen didn't follow, didn't try to stop him, and the pressure in his chest tightened even more. He had to get _over this_.

 

**~*~*~*~**

 

Jensen watched Jared walk away from him, rooted to the spot by the bunch and flex of muscle under the swim suit Jared was wearing. _God_. The last time he'd seen Jared in swim trunks, Jared had been wearing loose board shorts with an obnoxiously loud floral pattern. This suit was neither loose nor patterned. Black and skin tight, it clung lovingly to the rounded cheeks of his ass and the tops of his thighs and left nothing to the imagination.

He literally couldn't think again until Jared had disappeared into the hotel, and then he realized that Jared had _disappeared into the hotel_.

Well, hell.

Jensen shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels a little. He'd never had to work for Jared's forgiveness before. Had never honestly made Jared mad enough at him to need forgiving. Jensen had come expecting to apologize and give Jared a smile and a hug and have everything go back to the way it had been before he'd learned that Jared was a virgin. That Jared had waited for him for _years_.

Obviously this wasn't going to be quite that easy.

 

**~*~*~*~**

 

It didn't get any easier, either. Jensen tried, he really did, but Jared had become some sort of fucking _ninja_. The hotel _wasn't_ that big. Neither was the private beach for the hotel guests. Neither, when it came right down to it, was the fucking island. But Jared had seemingly vanished. No matter where or when or how hard Jensen searched, he wasn't able to corner Jared again for the next several days. He did catch the occasional glimpse of shaggy brown hair a head (or sometimes head and shoulders) above everyone else, which was enough to keep him trying and reassure him that Jared hadn't run again, but Jensen needed _time_ with Jared. Needed an actual sit-down-and-listen-to-me talk so he could at least attempt an actual apology. Hopefully without tripping over his tongue this time. Or drowning in his own drool, because good god. Apparently now that the blinders were off and Jared's insane levels of hot had been forcibly brought to his attention, Jensen was constitutionally incapable of thinking about anything else.

His dreams were filled with an endless expanse of smooth golden skin stretched over lean muscle that he was just dying to touch. He was sure Jared was darkening into a gorgeous, even nut brown, so unlike the splotches of freckles appearing on his own body overnight. Jensen wanted to peel away the edges of the snug black suit Jared had been wearing and trace all the tan lines he could find with his tongue.

He wasn't sleeping all that well.

Finally, desperate after a week of essentially chasing his own tail, Jensen caved and did what he had sworn he wouldn't do. He became That Guy, the creepy stalker guy who hovers outside a hotel room waiting for the occupant. Jeff had laughed when he told Jensen about Jared's hotel room, because Jared had been given room 719. Jeff had said something about a birthday room for the birthday boy and Jensen had dutifully laughed and hadn't even needed to make a note of the room number.

He went up shortly before dinner time, hoping to catch Jared as he left to eat without having to spend so much time just standing there that someone called security on him, and settled back against the wall a few feet down the hall from Jared's door. When Jared finally opened the door and came out, Jensen was startled out of a near-doze and almost missed catching him. And then he _did_ miss him, because Jared looked - wow. Jared looked _amazing_. He was a little more dressed up than Jensen had ever seen him, in nice slacks and a button down shirt that seemed a little tight. Jensen's own clothes felt suddenly constricting and he sucked in a hard breath. The dark blue fabric strained across Jared's shoulders and Jensen wondered for the millionth time how he had overlooked the fact that Jared had grown up so very _very_ well. His eyes glazed over a little as he watched Jared's tight ass walk away from him. Jared didn't notice him until he'd turned around in the elevator and met his eyes through the closing doors. Jared's eyes widened in surprise and his mouth opened to speak, but then the doors were shut and he was gone.

Jensen smacked himself in the forehead. "Good job, dumbass," he muttered, heading for the elevators to follow. "That's perfect. You'll never straighten this out if you can't even fucking talk to him."

He'd never, not even as a gawky teenager, had a problem talking to someone he was attracted to. He'd never tripped over his tongue, never not known what to say. Jeff used to mock him for it (once he got past the understandable envy) and tell him that it just meant that no one had ever mattered enough to Jensen. As he hit the down button and stepped into the next elevator that opened, Jensen finally understood what Jeff had been getting at. Jared mattered. Too much, maybe, but certainly enough that Jensen didn't want to fuck up again and now, when he most needed to be smooth and articulate, he couldn't find the right words.

 

**~*~*~*~**

 

Jared exchanged his empty glass for another full one and wandered back out into the party. Although "party" was maybe a stretch - it was more a gathering, really. The hotel hosted a get-together every Friday for its guests, to give everyone a chance to get to know their fellow vacationers. Jared thought wryly that it was more a chance to get wasted on the free drinks, but he'd come the last two Fridays and was here again tonight, hoping to find someone who could be Mr. Right-Now, someone who could take his mind off Jensen.

He hadn't seen Jensen at the party yet, although he was keeping an eye out as he flirted with yet another nameless guy. Jared didn't really understand why Jensen was even still here in Greece. Nameless winked and squeezed Jared's bicep before moving off to mingle with someone else, and Jared sighed. Nameless would fuck him, he was pretty sure, but although the idea itself was exciting, Jared couldn't work up any enthusiasm for doing it with Nameless. Especially if Jensen was going to hover outside his hotel room the entire time, god. What had Jensen been _doing_ up there?

The answer came on the heels of the thought, and Jared sighed again, feeling even more put upon. He was going to have to sit down with Jensen and let him say whatever it was Jensen had come to say, or else Jensen would just keep following him until he left Greece, and then hound him at home, too. Jensen was like a dog with a bone when he got a bee in his bonnet, and Jared would never hear the end of it if he didn't hear Jensen out. Jared snorted as the mental image of Jensen as a dog wearing a bonnet popped into his head. Maybe he'd had enough of the free drinks himself.

"Hey, Jared."

The smile fell from Jared's lips as Jensen sidled up next to him, trying - and failing - to appear casual. He turned and glared at Jensen. "God. Can you just _stop_ with the cock-blocking already? I'll never get laid if you don't stop fucking following me around like a creepy pervert."

Jensen's jaw dropped. " _Cock-blocking_?" he whispered furiously. "You're just here to get _laid?_ Jesus Christ, Jared, you couldn't do that at home and save me a fucking trip to _Greece_? I _still_ have sand in my shoes!"

Jared clenched his teeth together and blinked against the sudden burn in his eyes. He had to force his jaw to relax enough to speak. "I tried that," he finally growled. "You said no." He put his glass down and turned to poke Jensen in the chest, hard. "You don't get a say in my sex life, Jensen. Not anymore. And no one asked you to come here, either. You could have saved yourself the fucking trip. Fuck off." He poked Jensen again and then turned on his heel and left.

Of course, Jensen followed him. Jared fumed and folded his arms across his chest in the elevator, trying to ignore Jensen in there with him. Jensen broke first.

"C'mon, Jay, I'm just worried about you. You could catch something, or get hurt, or hell. Hook up with a serial killer and we'd never see you again."

Jared couldn't help a snort. "I'm hardly incapable of taking care of myself, and I know all about condoms. You don't have to worry. You don't _get_ to worry. You said no, Jensen. The end."

Jensen moved closer and put his hand on Jared's forearm. "I will always be your friend, Jared. I'll always care."

Pulling his arm free, Jared moved away. "Yeah. Not helping, Jensen. Seriously, just leave me alone. For awhile, at least. You owe me that."

" _I can't_." Jensen looked both frustrated and surprised at his own soft exclamation. "I can't. I need you to be okay, Jared."

"Then stop following me around. Stop interfering. You didn't want me, so let me find someone else who does."

Jared thought he'd finally won when Jensen didn't get off the elevator immediately after him, but he heard footsteps come up behind him and then Jensen was there, hand on his arm as he tried to open his door. "I never said I didn't want you, Jared."

"You said - "

"I said I wouldn't sleep with you, not that I didn't want to." Jensen's hand flexed on Jared's arm and he blew out a breath. "Jared, come on. You're Jeff's little brother, I watched you grow up. You, I, Jay." He shook his head, frustrated. "I don't do relationships, Jared, and you mean too much. You're too important for a casual fuck."

Jared wanted, so badly, to pull Jensen close. Wanted to try to convince Jensen that he wasn't too important, that it didn't have to be casual - _anything_. At the same time, he felt his chest tighten at Jensen's admission that Jared _meant something_. He flexed his arm under Jensen's grip and shoved his key card into the door. "It doesn't matter why you said no, Jensen," he said quietly. "It only matters that you did. I need to stop waiting for something that will never happen and move on with my life." He got the door open and stepped into his room, blocking Jensen from following him by pushing the door almost shut. "Go home, Jensen."

Jensen was pounding on the door as soon as it clicked shut, and Jared opened it again with an exasperated sigh. "What?"

"You can't move on _here_ , Jared." Jensen ran a hand through his hair. "You can't honestly think that fucking some, some random guy you don't even _know_ will help you find someone to spend your life with."

Jared leaned against the door frame, suddenly tired. "No, probably not. But I'm not looking for a relationship right now, Jen, not here. Fucking some random guy is exactly what I want out of this trip."

"What? No! No, Jared, you can't do that!" Jensen pushed at the door but Jared held firm. "Jared, you deserve someone who loves you. You can't, Jesus. Give yourself to someone who doesn't appreciate it, doesn't _know_ you."

"Well, the person who knows me, who I thought would _appreciate it_ , turned me down." Jared gave Jensen a strained smile, jaw clenched again. "So now I have to figure out who else I might want, and I can't do that without hooking up with other guys."

"But do you have to do that here? Come on, Jared, wait until you get home and can at least meet guys I know, or Jeff knows."

Jared threw up his hands and Jensen took advantage, pushing his way into Jared's room. "No, Jensen! I don't want you vetting my dates like you do Mac's or Megan's." Even knowing it was a mistake, Jared pushed the door shut and walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge to watch as Jensen paced. Jensen was way too invested in this argument, far more agitated than he should be if he really were just a concerned friend. "You don't get to do that. You're not in charge of my life." Jared winced as soon as the words left his lips - it sounded so childish - but Jensen didn't seem to notice.

"You're - Jared, you can't. I can't let you just throw yourself away on some stupid asshole who will just fuck you and not give a shit."

"Why not?"

Jensen finally stopped pacing and stood, glaring at Jared. "Because I said so."

Jared rolled his eyes and slumped on the bed. He was apparently never going to get a straight answer out of Jensen, and he was done fighting about it. "You don't get to say so, Jensen." He stood up and wrapped a hand around Jensen's upper arm and started leading him toward the door. "I appreciate your concern, I really do. I know you just want to protect me, or whatever. But I can take care of myself, and I'm not going to argue with you anymore. I'm going to go to bed and you're going to go away."

"C'mon, Jared - "

" _No_." Jared pushed Jensen up against the wall next to the door. "This is completely ridiculous. Why are you so sure I'll get hurt? People have sex _every day_ , Jensen. And they're fine. Nothing goes wrong."

Jensen grabbed Jared's shoulders. "And people get heartbroken every day, Jared. I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want to try to fix it after the damage is done. I don't want to get arrested in Greece for killing someone."

Jared almost laughed, but Jensen looked completely serious. "I won't get heartbroken, Jensen. I won't give anyone here my heart to break. It's just a fuck, it won't mean anything."

"It will to you, Jared. You throw yourself into everything headfirst, sex won't be any different."

"Why do you care so much?" Jared took a step back. "Everyone gets hurt, Jensen. It's part of life. Everyone has disappointments and problems and life isn't always sunshine and rainbows out of your ass." He shook his head. "You know what? I've _been_ hurt. I've been fucking _heartbroken_ , okay? I'm surviving. I'm moving on, or trying to." He turned away and rubbed his hands over his face. "Just - get out. Get out of my room and leave me alone. You gave up the right to have a say in my sex life three weeks ago, Jensen."

"I'm so sorry, Jared." Jensen's voice was soft. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"Yeah, well, you did." Jared turned back to look at him. "I know you didn't mean to, but you did."

Jensen stepped closer. "Let me fix it, Jared. Let me make it up to you."

Jared laughed, short and hard and not at all amused. The alcohol buzz was wearing off and Jared just wanted to sleep and not deal with this anymore. "How can you possibly make it up to me, Jensen? How can you fix the fact that you never noticed me while I was so far gone for you I was planning the rest of our lives? I felt like you'd punched me in the stomach that night, you know. I couldn't even breathe and I couldn't believe that you were so completely oblivious that you hadn't even realized that I'd grown up."

"I _couldn't_ notice, Jared, for Christ's sake. You're _Jeff's little brother_ , he'd kill me if he had any idea I'd ever jerked off thinking about you." Jensen ran a hand through his hair. "Hell, _I'd_ kill me for thinking about you that way. You're so - god. So fucking _alive_ , and happy, and you want the rest of our lives and I don't know how to do that, Jared. I would ruin everything."

"You jerked off thinking about me?" Jared asked. "Really?"

Jensen froze. "No?"

Jared laughed. "You totally did! You jerked off thinking about me. It's okay, Jen, I always think about you when I jerk off."

"No, you don't." Jensen's face was slowly flushing as Jared watched, delighted.

"I really do." Jared smirked as Jensen covered his eyes with one hand. "I think about your mouth on my dick. I finger myself open and pretend it's your tongue. I imagine tasting all your freckles and I wonder how your dick would feel in my mouth."

Jensen sucked in a breath. "Stop that."

Jared moved closer, crowding Jensen back against the wall. "No. I think about how your ass would feel around my fingers, if you're as tight as I am. I bought a dildo."

" _Jared_."

"I bet you would feel better inside me than it does, Jensen." He bent to breathe his next words against Jensen's lips. "Why won't you fuck me?"

Jensen grabbed him and turned, slamming him into the wall. "Shut up, goddammit," he growled, "just shut up."

"Make me."

With another low growl, Jensen did. The kiss was rough and messy and out of control, not at all what Jared had imagined their first kiss would be like. And god, it was so much better than he ever could have dreamed. Jensen's hands were curled into his shirt, his arms holding Jared firmly in place while he ate at Jared's mouth. Jared opened eagerly to Jensen's tongue and moaned. He could taste the rum Jensen had been drinking and something else, something that could only be _Jensen_. He couldn't stop tasting, couldn't get enough.

The kiss stayed almost savage until Jared managed to work his arms up between them and cup Jensen's jaw, his other hand curling around the back of Jensen's neck. It seemed to ground Jensen somehow, and his mouth gradually gentled against Jared's. Jared's lips were tingling by the time Jensen finally pulled away, although he didn't go far, his mouth grazing Jared's jaw on the way to press a kiss behind Jared's ear.

Jared slid his fingers into Jensen's hair and gathered up every last scrap of resolve he could find. "Stop, Jensen."

"Hmm?" Jensen did something with his tongue that made Jared's eyes roll back, and Jared considered just letting this happen. But he knew that not having Jensen at all would be much better than having Jensen look at him with guilt or regret or even hate. "Stop, baby, please. You need to step back."

Jensen stopped. It took a few more seconds for him to move, but he finally stepped back and let Jared go. He cleared his throat, but his voice was still rough when he said, "I thought you wanted me."

Jared had to curl his hands into fists to resist the urge to touch, take; to grab what Jensen seemed to be offering while the offer was still on the table. "I do," he managed, and his voice was almost as wrecked. "But I need you to want it too. I need you to not regret this, or think you need to protect me from yourself. I need to be a choice, not a mistake."

"Jay," Jensen said softly, "you would never be a mistake."

"If you can still say that and mean it when your dick isn't hard, then we'll talk." Jared moved away from the wall and tried to discreetly adjust himself. "Go think about this. Don't worry about what Jeff will think or what my parents or your parents will think or about anyone else. This is between you and me. No one else plays into it. You think about what _you_ want."

 

**~*~*~*~**

 

So Jensen did.

He let himself out of Jared's room and tried to forget the picture Jared made, sprawled out over the king size bed. Rather than hole up in his own room, Jensen made his way down to the beach. It was late, but it was Friday night, so there were a few couples hand in hand walking over the sand. Jensen bent to roll up the legs of his slacks and took off his shoes and socks. Rolling up the socks, he tucked them down into one shoe. Shoes in one hand and the other in his pocket, he turned away from the obviously romantic couples and wandered the beach in the other direction.

He'd told Jared he didn't want to get arrested for killing someone, and knew Jared had thought he was kidding. But the thought of someone else _touching_ Jared, much less hurting him, filled Jensen with an inexplicable rage. Jared was _his_. His friend, his to watch over and take care of.

Jensen huffed out a breath in self-disgust. "Stop lying to yourself, you moron." It had taken coming halfway around the world to see that Jared had grown up, and once Jensen had seen that he couldn't hide from the way he felt anymore, although he had certainly tried. He wanted Jared to be happy, and not because Jared's smile made everything better. He wanted to _make_ Jared happy. He wanted the right to touch every inch of that long lean body, and the right to warn off anyone else who tried. And then to beat the hell out of anyone else who did.

He hadn't thought twice about dropping everything to take an open-ended trip to Greece, had been on a plane the day after finding out where Jared had gone and hadn't planned to go home until Jared did.

Why hadn't he seen it before?

Turning back, Jensen looked at the hotel and counted up seven floors, imagining Jared asleep in his room. It had been a few years since he'd seen Jared sleep, and Jensen wondered if he still started the night sprawling out and woke in the morning curled on one side buried under the covers. He wanted to find out.

"I love you," Jensen murmured, trying the words out loud. His stomach clenched and he sucked in a breath. "I love you and I want to be with you but I'm afraid I'll fuck everything up."

He imagined Jeff smacking the back of his head. _One day at a time, asshole. You just take it one day at a time._

 

**~*~*~*~**

 

Jared pulled the pillow more snugly under his head and curled into an even tighter ball on his side. He hadn't slept well, second guessing himself most of the night. He could have had Jensen. It might have blown up in his face, and Jensen might have hated him for it, but he still couldn't help but wonder if he'd done the right thing in sending Jensen away.

He was just contemplating going back to sleep when there was a knock at his door. Jared shoved the blankets off his head and stared at the door. The knock came again so he fumbled his way out of bed and staggered a little on the way to answer it.

"Hey, Jay, I... woke you up?" Jensen was shaved and dressed more casually than usual, in jeans and a t-shirt. He looked good enough to eat, and Jared swallowed. "Sorry, man, go back to bed. I'll come back later."

"No," Jared rasped, then cleared his throat and tried again. "I was awake, just not up. You know?" He ran a hand over his hair and stepped back to let Jensen in. "It's okay. What's up?"

Jensen flushed and looked away from Jared's bare legs sticking out of his boxers with obvious difficulty, and Jared couldn't help but smile. "I, er. Just wondered if you've had a chance to see the island. Do the tourist thing."

"No, I - " _Was trying to get laid._ " - stuck to the beach mostly." Jared turned away and rummaged through the dresser for clean clothes.

"Do you want to go with me?" Jensen fumbled the door shut. "I thought we could go sight seeing. You know. Be tourists. Together."

A wide smile split Jared's face. "Are you asking me out?"

Jensen covered his face with one hand and sighed. "Dude, I knew I'd fuck this up. Never mind, I'll just - "

"You aren't fucking it up, Jensen." Jared could feel the smile ease from blinding to merely overjoyed. "I would love to go sight seeing with you. I'll even let you buy me ice cream."

"Oh you will, will you?" Jensen's voice was wry. "How generous of you."

"What can I say? I'm a giver."

Jensen snorted and leaned back against the wall. He waved a hand at Jared. "Get dressed, asshole. I'm not taking you out in your boxers."

 

**~*~*~*~**

 

They had fun. They didn't do any official sort of tour, instead wandering the narrow streets, talking about everything and nothing at all. After lunch and ginger beer at the cafe at the Liston, they meandered through the old fort.

It was the easiest date Jensen had ever been on.

Jared seemed happy to just _be_ with him, and there was no pressure to behave a certain way, or to try to impress him. Jensen had no expectations either - this was Jared. The only thing that surprised Jensen was the need he couldn't tamp down, and the answering flare of heat he saw in Jared's eyes.

Jensen was just about to suggest they head back - he wasn't as young as he used to be, and he definitely wasn't used to walking this much - when Jared smiled and said, "I promised to let you buy me ice cream. We can eat it on the way back."

"Oh, _right_." Jensen rolled his eyes, but couldn't keep a smile from tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I was so afraid you were going to forget about that."

"I knew you were," Jared agreed soberly. He managed not to smile, but his eyes were laughing, and Jensen snorted. But he bought Jared ice cream.

After they got back to the hotel, they went to their separate rooms for just long enough to change. Jensen made it back to the lobby first, and when Jared stepped out of the elevator, he crossed the lobby to where Jensen was standing near the hotel restaurant and took his hand, threading their fingers together. "I worked up an appetite today," Jared murmured, voice low and heavy with innuendo.

Jensen forced a laugh but didn't let go of Jared's hand. "Let's go fill you up, you bottomless pit."

They stayed away from anything meaningful as they ate, but while they were waiting for dessert (Jared had to have more ice cream) Jared pinned Jensen with a serious look. "What did you decide? What do _you_ want, Jensen?"

"Uh." Jensen froze, then took a drink of water, trying to gather his thoughts. "Well. I." He smiled faintly. "I want you. I've loved you all your life, Jared, but I never let myself think about you as anything other than, you know, Jeff's little brother." Jensen toyed with his water glass and huffed out a breath. "I suck at relationships, Jay," he said, finally looking up to meet Jared's eyes. "I don't want to hurt you again."

"You didn't suck at it today," Jared said quietly. "Was today hard for you?"

Jensen shook his head. "No, it was - damn. It was the easiest date I've ever had. It was actually _fun_. You always are."

Jared smiled and started to reach across the table but was interrupted by the waitress with Jared's ice cream. After she left, Jared dug in, and started moaning with exaggerated pleasure. Jensen rolled his eyes and lightly kicked Jared under the table, and Jared laughed. "See?" he said, mouth still full of ice cream.

"Dude, gross. Swallow first."

"Oh, I absolutely will," Jared said lewdly, and Jensen felt his face flush hot. He kicked Jared again, harder this time. Jared made a face but swallowed the ice cream before speaking again. "We had fun today. It was just _us_ , Jen, the way we've always been. I don't want to lose that, I just want to add to what we already have. Relationships are never a sure thing. You never know how it will work out - it might be fantastic, or it might blow up in your face. You just take things one day at a time and do the best you can." He reached across the table and curled his hand around Jensen's. "But we work, Jen. We really do. I love you. I love being with you. I want you to be happy. I think that's a pretty good start."

Jensen just looked at Jared for a few seconds. "When did you get so smart about things?" he finally asked, toying with Jared's fingers.

Jared shrugged. "Not that smart. I've just had a long time to think about this while I was waiting for you to jump my bones." He laughed when Jensen choked, then choked himself when Jensen spoke.

"Finish your ice cream so we can get to the jumping."

 

**~*~*~*~**

 

Jared had tried not to think too much about the actual sex part of things. He knew the mechanics and knew that it would probably hurt if he bottomed, but he also knew that he trusted Jensen completely and loved him wholly, knew that Jensen would take care of him as he always had. And he knew he _wanted_ Jensen.

Knowing the mechanics and trying to imagine Jensen's hands on him in no way prepared him for the real thing.

Jared felt like he was burning up from the inside out, heat spreading from his gut to explode wherever Jensen's fingers touched. And Jensen touched him _everywhere_ \- from a ghosting caress over the planes of his face to the firm stroke of Jensen's hand on his dick. Jared groaned into Jensen's mouth, his own hands clutching helplessly at Jensen's body, overwhelmed by need.

Jensen's mouth pulled free of his with a last teasing bite on his lower lip. "God," he whispered, "so fucking pretty all strung out for me, Jared."

" _Please_ ," Jared answered, "please, Jensen, please."

"Please what?" Jensen laughed softly and bit at Jared's chin, then licked a wet line down his throat.

Jared groaned. "I don't _know_ , just - god. I need... Fuck. Jensen."

Jensen moved further down and licked lightly over one nipple. "This?" he asked. The tip of his nose brushed down Jared's stomach as he continued to move. His breath ghosted out over Jared's navel. "Or this?" His tongue dipped inside.

"Unngh." Jared's hands curled around Jensen's head, fingers stroking through his short hair. "Yes. Anything. Anything you want, Jensen, just please."

"What if I want this?" Jensen murmured, and sucked Jared's dick into his mouth. Jared's hands immediately tightened on Jensen's head and his hips arched up helplessly as his world narrowed down to the wet heat of Jensen's mouth. On his _dick_.

He was barely aware of Jensen shifting to press an arm across Jared's stomach. Jensen's tongue was drawing obscene patterns along a throbbing vein as he pulled back, almost pulled off, and then he moaned and chased the vibration back down until the head of Jared's dick bumped the back of his throat. Jared nearly came out of his skin as he felt that moan reverberate around him. Jensen did it again and again, head moving surely up and down Jared's shaft, until Jared was babbling incoherently and tugging at Jensen's hair. "Gonna," he finally managed, "Jen, stop, I'm - _oh my fucking god_."

Jensen sucked hard and pressed a finger just inside Jared's ass at the same time, and Jared imploded, body arching up strongly enough to lift Jensen's arm and shove his dick down Jensen's throat as he spilled in pulses so strong they were almost painful. Jensen swallowed repeatedly, the muscles of his throat working the head of Jared's dick and sending echoes of fire up Jared's spine to melt his brain.

He sort of blanked out for awhile, not unconscious but nearly there. He could feel his body shudder in the aftermath, could feel Jensen pull back and lick him affectionately, catching the last dribbles of come on his tongue. He couldn't figure out how to move his arms to pull Jensen up, couldn't make his mouth connect to what was left of his brain so he could say _come here_.

Jensen must have known, though, because after one final swipe of his tongue, he moved to cover Jared again and press their mouths together. The taste of himself in Jensen's mouth was... different. Odd, but not bad, definitely something he could get used to. And he was going to have the chance to get used to it. The corners of his mouth curved up as Jensen kept kissing him and he managed to wrap an arm around Jensen's shoulders. "Wow."

"You okay?" Jensen laughed softly, nose brushing Jared's, and not letting him answer before he kissed him again.

"You sucked my brain out of my dick, what do you think?" Jared tried to kiss Jensen again but Jensen was laughing.

"I'll actually take that as a yes," Jensen said. He kissed Jared one last time and then moved away, grabbing lube off the nightstand and slicking two fingers. "Tell me if I hurt you, or do something you don't like."

Jared moaned a little and spread his legs apart, but Jensen just looked at him.

"I mean it, Jared. There isn't right or wrong here, just good and better and if there's something you aren't sure of or don't want, tell me."

"I want everything, Jensen. Everything you want to do, I want to try."

Jensen raised an eyebrow but didn't argue. Instead he moved between Jared's legs and teased at his hole with one finger. "I want to fuck you while you're still all loose and mindless," he murmured, "but soon - maybe next time - I want to lick you open nice and slow. Make you squirm on my tongue until you're ready to ride my dick and then I'll make you forget your name."

Jared made an embarrassingly needy sound deep in his throat, and Jensen grinned up at him from between his legs and pushed a finger inside him. It felt a little weird but not uncomfortable. He closed his eyes and pushed into Jensen's hand, trying to get the finger deeper. Jensen obliged him, stroking slowly in and out several times before adding a second finger. That one burned a little, but then Jensen pressed against that spot inside him that shot heat up his spine in a hard rush of pleasure. "Oh my _god_."

"Yeah," Jensen murmured, "there you go. Feel so good, baby, so hot and tight. Can't wait to get my dick in there, wanna see your hole stretched wide around me."

" _Jensen_ ," Jared gasped. He could feel the heat rushing under his skin, over his chest, and couldn't tell if it was arousal or embarrassment. He felt both in equal measure. Then Jensen pressed his prostate again and he didn't care. "Fuck me, please, Jensen, don't wait, I want you inside me."

Jensen started stretching him in earnest, working in a third finger before he was quite ready for it. He gasped, hips lifting into the sting, and Jensen bent to place a sucking kiss on his shaft as his fingers teased and stroked Jared open. Finally - _finally_ \- Jensen pulled his fingers free and rolled a condom over himself, then settled between Jared's legs. Jared immediately wrapped his legs around Jensen's hips and eagerly pulled Jensen into a kiss. "Push out against me and don't forget to breathe," Jensen said into Jared's mouth, and then he was pushing in, short, steady thrusts into Jared's body, and god, it _hurt_ , but it was Jensen _inside him_ and it was everything he'd wanted since he figured out what his dick was for.

"Breathe, baby," Jensen whispered, dropping kisses over Jared's face. "Relax, and breathe, and tell me when you're ready."

"Ready?" Jared held Jensen more tightly and sucked in air. But even as he asked, he realized what Jensen meant. His body was already adjusting, the pain fading to a feeling of too full that somehow wasn't enough. He squeezed experimentally on Jensen's dick and they both groaned.

Jensen kissed a path along Jared's jawline and then sucked at the skin behind his ear. "Ready for more," he said. "Ready for me to move." His teeth scraped over Jared's neck.

Jared shifted slightly, rocking up into Jensen, and it moved Jensen inside him. "Oh my god," he breathed, and Jensen laughed softly. "Oh my god, Jensen, it feels, it's so - _fuck_."

"That mean you're okay?"

"Yeah, god, Jensen, please!"

He started slow but steady, letting Jared adjust to the motion before beginning to move faster, angling to hit Jared's prostate every other stroke or so, waiting to thrust harder until Jared was begging incoherently and rock hard again. "Touch yourself, baby," Jensen finally gasped, "c'mon, wrap those long fingers around your dick and show me how hard you can come."

So Jared did, jerking himself with shaking hands, reaching down to feel the stretched skin where Jensen was sliding in and out. He only managed a few uneven strokes before orgasm hit and knocked him senseless, body convulsing on and under Jensen.

"Yeah, oh fuck, Jared, so good, feels so fucking good," Jensen groaned and then he was coming too, body shoving hard into Jared, arms pulling him impossibly closer. Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen's neck and tried to remember how to breathe.

He must have passed out, because the next thing he knew Jensen was wiping him down with a washcloth that definitely hadn't been within reach earlier. His stomach muscles contracted under Jensen's hand, and Jensen looked up at him with a smile.

"Hey."

"Hi." Jared could feel heat creeping up under his cheeks and covered his eyes with one hand. The cloth moved away and Jared heard it hit the floor as Jensen reached up to pull his hand down, tangling their fingers together.

"You okay?" Jensen's eyes searched his, a lazy smile spreading across his face at whatever he saw there.

"I'm awesome," Jared said. He was still blushing, he could feel it, but he couldn't help smiling back at Jensen. Jensen pressed a light kiss to Jared's mouth and settled on the bed next to him, curling close.

Jared was almost asleep again when Jensen murmured, "You _are_ awesome."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I hurt you, Jared."

Jared turned on his side and wrapped himself around Jensen. "I know. But you kinda made up for it by chasing me to Greece."

"I did not _chase_ you. I was just, you know. Worried about you."

"You totally chased me," Jared said, fighting a laugh.

Jensen sighed. "Yeah, okay. I just needed you to be okay. I needed to make _sure_ you were okay."

"Because?" Jared knew he was pushing, and wondered if Jensen would answer.

"Because I love you." Jensen pushed his leg between Jared's and poked him in the ribs. "You could say it sometimes too, you know."

Jared grinned. "But you already know."

"Asshole."

"But you love me anyway."

"Yeah, I really do."

Jared waited as long as he could, but he just couldn't keep the words inside now that he was completely free to say them. "I love you so much, Jensen." As closely tangled as they were, Jared felt Jensen's breath catch, felt him finally fully relax. "Jen, you knew that, right?"

"Guess I needed to hear the words," he finally muttered. He sounded a little embarrassed, and Jared's grin widened.

"I guess you did. Enough to chase me to Greece _and_ stalk my hotel room." Jared cupped Jensen's face and coaxed him into a slow kiss.

Jensen smiled as he ended the kiss. "Yeah, well. Don't get too smug there, Jared. It totally worked."


End file.
